ABCs for Managers Who Lead: C is for Communicate

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could communicate in such a way with each other, at work and at home, that we would perfectly understand each other, align our expectations and make sure that everyone knows what one needs to know? Unfortunately, poor communication is probably the most common complaint in organizations or in teams. One would think that we would all perfect our communication skills, knowing the consequences of not communicating well, but we don’t. Why do we have such difficulty communicating with each other, over and over again?

Here are some reasons:

We are so busy that we don’t stand still to reflect on who needs to know what by when
We assume that we don’t need to communicate something that we believe is self-evident
We have done this work before and communicated what needed to be done then, so no need to repeat
We didn’t think someone needed to know
We thought others already knew
We didn’t know who was on the team
There was nothing new to tell, or
We simply forgot.

People go to workshops to learn to communicate better. But as the examples above show, poor communication isn’t always an issue of knowledge, skill or physical ability. Even though they may not think about communication this way, most people know that every communication involves a sender, a receiver, a context, a medium and a process (tone, pitch, use of words, etc.) and that poor communication or no communication is a result of not paying attention to any or all of these elements. Skill is about clarity, focus and simplicity. Some people ramble on and on, burying their message deep inside this ramble where it gets lost. Others use too few words and fail to communicate their message. And as for physical ability, we know that this is no excuse. We have seen people with physical impairments related to hearing or talking communicate quite effectively.

More often than not communication is about being present, about being sensitive to the needs of others, about power (some say information = power), or about clarity (who needs to know what).

Self-awareness about how one communicates is key. Feedback about this can be actively solicited by asking, “how did I do?” or “how can I improve?” or inferred from the consequences of your communication (or non–communication).

Communicating well

Communicate about your expectations. One common source of friction in couples, teams and organizations is when we fail to communicate the expectations we hold of the other. This is easy to remedy by stating one’s expectations before starting an activity or being aware that these need to be communicated over and over in a relationship.
Be aware of using language, jargon or abbreviations when communicating outside one’s own area of expertise or knowledge. Every profession, every organization and every sector has its own language, jargon and abbreviations. When communicating across traditional boundaries, treat this as if you are going to another country where a different language is spoken. Explain or ask about abbreviations, use simple words, avoid jargon and ask the other to explain what you don’t understand. This is not a sign of ignorance or incompetence. Such asking shows that you want to be sure you understand what the other says.
The American author Mark Twain said: “Supposing is good. Finding out is better.” At the root of many misunderstandings or mistakes is our human tendency to jump to conclusions; or making assumptions about what either one of us actually knows. How often did we hear someone say “I supposed you knew!” Try to be aware of your assumptions or jumps to conclusions, and then verify whether these jumps or assumptions were correct.

See for yourself

There are thousands of videos on communication on YouTube alone. Many are serious, some are not. And although communication is of course a serious matter, here are two videos that I hope will make you smile.

Invitation to collaborate

We welcome your thoughts about communicating. Please use the comment form below to share your experiences, successes, and lessons learned with regards to communicating.

Stay tuned! We will be blogging here on all the other letters of the alphabet for Managers Who Lead in the weeks and months to come.